Hammer's Journal

Been a while

2008-09-03T04:56:00Z

Well, it's been a while since I posted here.

Anyone who is reading this, I'm doing well doing tech support in Burlington. Almost paid off my car and saving to do some travelling and maybe move out at some point. I'm really tired as I've been burning the candle at both ends recently so Imma head to bed now. Just finished wringing a character concept from my muse so that's good.

I can sometimes be found on sorcery.net on IRC in the channel #lookshyooc. My nick is usually Laethyl.

Stuff

2005-11-28T00:30:26Z

Coding Perl, doing stuff. More to come.

Da Grind

2005-06-01T06:28:50Z

Well, same old same old. My chair has gotten progressively worse oh well. Guess I'll have to deal with it for the time being. Anyways, I'm on the warpath for a new job now. Got no excuses and I need to get out there and get results. My current cash situation is a problem and the Barn is getting worse and worse by the minute. Got a resume, just need to make it look a little better and I'm in business.

Speaking of things getting worse. Parents. I swear, I get home from work, go on the comp to check email and take it easy. Right away, every night, my mom. MARK! How was your day? You should do this, you should do that, why aren't you doing this, can you do this, I want you to do that, I think yada yada yada. Now I don't want to seem unreasonable, my mom is a saint and I am very grateful to her for everything she has done for me. However, every night it's the same thing. You should go to the gym, or go for a walk, you should help around the house more. So, I go to the gym "Oh you shouldn't push yourself or you don't need to go every day." or "Oh, you shouldn't go for a walk this late at night, you are crazy." or "NO, you don't need to do groceries or mow the law if dad doesn't ask or etc etc." It's so frustrating!

Dad isn't much better, but him and me have never really seen eye to eye. There is no pleasing that man, and I know he only wants what is best and thinks he has the perfect answers for anything and the perfect methods to do anything. However, he doesn't seem to get that his way isn't always right and yelling at me and doing it for me does nothing to help.

Example: I'll be mowing the lawn, on my own. He will come home and be like. "Oh, you are mowing the lawn" (My must be perfect, definition of the color green lawn) and I'll do something, like say, oh lift the lawnmower over a ledge to get to another part of the lawn. "You know if you just tilted it, you wouldn't have to waste that much effort." something totally meaningless that frankly no one should give two shits about. Of course saying that is only going to start a pointless argument that I cannot win, since I MUST be wrong. So I'll tilt the lawnmower and of course it doesn't fit or I scrap a wheel or something to that effect and it's of course my fault. "You know, don't do it that way! The way I told you." etc etc.

Long story short, I stopped mowing the lawn because no matter what I do, it is never good enough for him so why bother. Logically of course, he must now complain that I don't mow the lawn anymore. Mom says, he should ask me to do it (which I would if he did ask me) but instead he says "I shouldn't have to ask." Well, considering just about everytime I try to do something on my own for the good of the house I either get yelled at or someone demands for me to stop doing it any way but perfectly, or get what I was doing taken over. Now if it were something like me trying to repair a gas furnace, I would understand, espcially since I have no expertise in repairing gas furnaces. However, when I am doing something as small as cooking, I just can't deal with anymore.

Thus I need to get a real job and blow this popsicle stand.

I also need to stop thinking that I will never amount to anything and that I am worthless, espcially since I was so psyched when I started this journal post. I guess the best way to do that, is to get pissed here goes!

I just thought I'd mention, did you ever get the feeling someone is just lashing out at anything and everything you say, just so they can feel like they are superior. I'm getting pretty f$*%ing sick and tired of that bull$)*#! Not just from the fam, but from other people. I'm also getting f$*%ing sick and tired of having to deal with people who either are completly wrong, or are only partially right on a subject and claiming it is truth. This really ticks me off when they operate on incomplete information or asinine interpretation. I can think of more then one organization who do that, not to mention individuals too.

Yeah you are entitled to your opinion, that's the great thing about living in a free country. However, your OPINIONS do not nessicarily = TRUTH. People have been wrong before, and believe me pal, don't think for a second that you are always right, because you ARE NOT!

Lastly, don't f$*%ing be fanatical in opinion about stupidly small and irrelevant things! Infact, don't be a f$*%ing fanatic about any opinion, even if your opinion is backed by facts! Contrary to popular belief, what you think is a fact can change. You need only look at the f$*%ing fact that the world isn't f$*%ing flat to see that!

Fanaticism only breeds schism and pisses people off. Instead, try accepting another angle and take on the facts. BTW, I'm not just talking religious fanaticism. I'm talking about ANY and ALL fanatics about anything. Politics, Science, Literature, Culture, Lawnmowing, Gamming of all kinds, Everything. If anything look at it this way. Raising taxes to pay for trained doctors is a good thing. So is lowering taxes so people can have more money to spend. Neither is wholly right or wholly wrong. It's all a matter of perspective.

That all being said, I think it's time I took it easy and went to bed. After all, that all is just my opinon, not the complete truth

Ahhh

2005-05-24T16:20:06Z

Ahh, that is much better. Not much to say since my last entry. I went on vacation in the dominican and it was great. The food at some of the restauraunts sucked, but that's ok. BTW, the poverty down there is really bad. People are living in little shacks made of aluminum sideing that are about as big as most people's sheds. Well, all the money I spent down there I hope helps.

Anyways, this weekend went to a big party at a buddy's house. He lives out in the boonies in Ancaster. Man that house is sweet. He had some live bands, lots of drinking, a fire and poker. Not much more I could ask for. Kinda sucked crashing in the back of my car though, that really messed my back up, but I think it's finally straightened itself out.

Speaking of straightening out, I need to fix my chair sometime soon. Anyways, I'm out.

VACATION!

2005-05-01T01:35:04Z

Well, around this time tomorrow I will be sleeping in a hotel in the Dominican Republic. It feels good to go on a real one week vacation after easily 3 years without one. That and I finally get away from the momz who has been driving me nuts over the most trivial of details.

Tonight's goal, to use up all my rested experience in World of Warcraft so it can accumulate over the week I'm gone. Just like a true addict, although I doubt a true adict would ever have rest experience :D. I also got to make a tape to take with me, but that's no sweat.

See you guys in a week from now!

Sup

2005-04-02T19:33:46Z

WoW yup, addicted. More to come after I vaccum

Uh Oh

2005-01-13T14:50:57Z

If you've been reading my journal, you've probably heard me complaining about not getting up early. Well this is earlier then most of the times. Sadly now that I am up, I don't know what to do with myself, except go back to bed. Hmm... this dilema must be overcome. Maybe I'll go shopping and be a slave to capitalism and consummerism. Yes...I think that is what I will do.

Grind

2005-01-11T05:52:29Z

Been working out with my buddies Bix, Keannu, and *****. Hoping to stick to the program this time. With four of us, I think we can do it!

Anyways work was cool today until the blind lady came into our store. Dear lord, she is the most miserable, angry, bitchy, arrogant human being I have ever had to deal with. I mean, I can feel sorry for you being blind, but that's not an excuse to flip out at me because we don't sell microwave meals in bags anymore.

I think a glass of water would do me some good right about now. Upward swing, cheer me on peeps!

What the fuck

2005-01-09T02:19:54Z

Seriously man, what the fuck...

Gotta break free, gotta get out, gotta find the drive, gotta walk into the sunset, gotta do it, just gotta.....

just gotta..

FINALLY!

2004-11-20T05:19:34Z

It's about f'in time I got drunk this month. Man, Novemeber is such a $#%@ month. I mean nothing happens besides American Thanksgiving, and who cares about that. Props to my buddies Keannu, Ruckus and the ex-lord of the dance. You know who you are.

The Hammer is now though, the true lord of the dance, save Dennis Leary.

Man, one more shot of Wild Turkey, adn that's it man.

{Ric Flair style}

WOOOOOO!

Zoog

2004-11-19T04:45:44Z

Not much really to say. I have to wake up in about 6 hours to go to work. Today was a bit shitty at work. Some lady wanted a 7 cent refund because the oranges were priced incorrectly.

Anyways, I'm off to bed.

Aww...crap

2004-11-09T05:12:34Z

Last night, I got a look at World of Warcraft...and now I want it. Damnit, now I must succumb to pay to play because the game looks so ubber sweet. So now I'm fanatically hoping I can get in on the open beta. I hope I can, but I suspect that millions of other people have the same idea.

Oh Well

Anyways, not really much more to say. My computer is lagging like crazy due to beta downloading, which I might not even get the chance to play. Espcially since I'm heading to bed soon, and blizzard will probably get their site up and running sometime around 3-5. Cross my fingers anyways.

Ohio

2004-11-03T06:19:59Z

It's 1:14, and it's looking like Ohio isn't going to break for the democrats so it's probably going to be Bush. Then my mom reminds me, that the americans are getting the president that they picked and that they deserve. That's sorta makes me feel better, but I just hope that thousands of lives are endangered by the reckless actions of a president who I am certain has visions of the last crusade in his eyes. Well, there is still, hope, no matter how faint. Getting to tired to care though.

This is it

2004-11-02T20:10:44Z

Today is the day, we see if intellegence and hope will stand a chance against ignorance and hate. Today we see if the next seven years will be filled with war and zealotry, or relative peace.

Man's Drinkin'

2004-10-23T02:59:12Z

Alright boys and girls. I got a question, which I don't expect to get many comments on this one, but it's worth a shot. So three easy questions.

What is generally favorite Whiskey?

What is your favorite Whiskey for mixing? (Ex: Rye and Coke)

What is your favorite Whiskey to do in shots?

And to be safe, list another Whiskey you personally enjoy not listed in the other three.

So far for me, my General Whiskey is Jack Daniels. For mixing though, nothing beats Canadian Club, goes in nice and smooth. For Shooting however, this one used to go to Jack Daniels, but I think Wild Turkey (the choice Whiskey of Frank Castle and Vash the Stampede ;) ) has taken it out. Lastly, another Whiskey I personally enjoy is Crown Royal.

Any whiskey is game! Malt, Grain, Blended, Straight, Bourbon, Tennessee, Scotch, Irish, Single Cask, Canadian, Japanese (I honestly didn't think it existed until today).

COMMENT ME!!

#$%&@!! *&%^$!!! #$)&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-10-20T02:34:22Z

Why hasn't Dave at my work been fired yet. This is easily the fourth time in a row he has called off his shift at the last minute (he's called off at the last minute more times then I can count).

I swear, if this happens one more time, I'M gonna call off before his shift. Leave no one in the department, see what happens then!

Just chillin'

2004-10-19T02:56:25Z

I wonder why it is updating my livej ournal never seems to happen till at least around 10-11ish? Hmm...

Anyways, I'm thinking I'm going to take a mini vacation to Toronto. Take a couple days off, go to the ROM, stop and smell the roses thing. I mean, working two jobs is really starting to take it's toll. Oh well, I guess I'd better get used to it.

Anyways, if anyone I know is interested comment this post or get in touch. Failing anything, I get to learn Toronto's geography a bit better :D.

Anyways, I just realized that I use "Anyways" to start a lot of journal paragraphs. Heh, I probably should stop. I picked up the doom collectors edition. The perfect set of games for my crappy 300mhz laptop. Doom, Doom 2 and Final Doom. Sadly no Doom 3, I heard it sucks anyways.

Work wasn't so bad today, I mean I left them a damn good department yesterday, and I left them a perfect one today. Unfortunately I'm working with Dave Gadson tomorrow, and knowing my luck he's gonna pull another no show. If he does show up, he'd better bust his butt, because I'm not dealing with anymore of his BS.

Anyways, I think I'm going to play some UT2004, then hit the sack.

mark_ooc @ 2004-10-14T22:28:00

2004-10-15T02:35:33Z

Before you say anything I'm not actually high, I just feel high and...yeah. My brain feels like mush...too tired to sleep, but not awake enough to think. Just...lost and messed...like I'm in a haze. Oh well, I think I'll type out some lyrics. Hope we roleplay tomorrow.

I'm not the one whose so far away, when I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I want to be here again, and I don't remember why I came.

Thanksgiving Good, Work Bad

2004-10-11T00:53:38Z

Man, I am really starting to hate my manager. Not only is he a complete prick 95% of the time, but he books himself off Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday (Monday being Thanksgiving and thus a holiday). Plus he has me working more hours this week then him. Plus he's been scheduling me closing shifts followed by opening shifts all of last week and this week. I think I'm going to have a talk with him on Tuesday. This is Bullshit.

Anyways, I had to work 12-6:30 today and came home to a thanksgiving dinner. Things actually went pretty smooth, which is a welcome change from the crap I've been dealing with lately. Anyways, no one seems to be role-playing in the old #vampyreinn, even though it is slowly trying to come back from the grave. :). so I'll probably game for a bit then hit the sack around midnight.

Laterz my peeps.

Feeling a bit better

2004-10-06T03:48:01Z

Feeling a bit better then from my last journal. Just tired. I have to work in the morning, which stinks. Oh well, get it done, then straight to bed I think.

Sorry if I worried anyone too much.

A Pathetic cry for help

2004-10-04T04:22:38Z

A normal day in the life of Mark, worked, gamed a bit, etc etc.

Then I relized I had to work tomorrow morning instead of tomorrow night, no biggie so I decided to go to bed a bit early, around 11:00. Of course, I can't get to sleep so I am lying in bed, and then suddenly I am terrified. No I can't explain why, or what brings this on, it simply happens. I'm terrified of being alone, I'm terrified of leaving nothing behind, but most of all I am terrified of dying. I rush to the bathroom, feeling like I'm going to puke and run into the door to my room, which is strangly closed. I'm in a daze and go to my knees and start to pray, dear lord I start to pray. Pray that there is a heaven, pray that there is something besides void, anything. I think I was there for about a half an hour, before I finally got up and got to the bathroom to have a glass of water.

So I lie back in bed, hoping to get some sleep, since I have to get up at 6:00 tomorrow, but I'm still shaken. So I boot up my laptop and behold the result, at least it has eased me somewhat. As I write this, I get the feeling, perhaps it will all be better in the morning, or at the very least gone, to whatever unknown dark corner fear hides in, so please do not worry too much from this post.

Still...at this moment, perhaps when faith is near absent, or perhaps when logic is far too strong I am scared and alone, and I don't know why. Help me, anyone, please help me.

Could be better or worse

2004-09-07T03:45:39Z

Well, I'm not feeling too bad today, but not to great. Last week I got hammered with work. Thank god for having the day off labor day.

On the plus side I've been making a bit more money :)

Anyways, better hit the sack. Have to work in 7 hours and be up in 6 so sleep would be a good plan. Lets see some more comments people! ;)

Zoog?

2004-08-30T05:01:50Z

Not much really to say today. Roleplayed, average session, nothing too interesting.
Probably should get to bed since I have to work in 5 hours, oh well.

Oh, the old vampyreinn might be opening again. Damn I miss that place. That's pretty much it.

Migraine's Suck

2004-08-29T04:11:23Z

I woke up today at 7:15 with a killer migraine, which as you can guess is a bad way to start the day. Around 8:00 a threw up twice, which made eased the pain of it, but my head still hurt like a bitch. So I stayed in bed all day, I woke up around 1:00, head still throbbing, my throat sore as all heck. Had some chicken noodle soup, played on my computer a bit, and the updated my live journal. I feel like poo. :(

Oh well, hopefully a better day tomorrow.

Restless Nights

2004-08-13T05:27:05Z

Man, I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to get to bed easily anymore. I stay on the computer, maybe game, maybe chat, maybe something constructive, maybe webcomic. Still, I try to get to bed earlier and my body refuses, no matter what, even when I force myself out of bed early in the morning. :(

Ahh well, I think I'm going to do some writing an see if exhaustion will finally take over.